why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Everyone says I win the strip club
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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