Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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