we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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