We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
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I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
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btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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