i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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