If i come over, it means nothing
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize