Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
...so i touched it.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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