He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
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Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
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I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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