only if we run a train.
done.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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