Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
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