Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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