Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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