I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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