After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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