he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
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Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
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I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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