At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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