I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
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I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
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Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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