Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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