I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
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I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize