Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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