If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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