I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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