Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize