2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
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Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
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Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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