I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
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And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
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What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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