What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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