Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
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