i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize