After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
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the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
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Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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