I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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