yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
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Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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