Swine flu. Run for my life!
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
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I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
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You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
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