I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
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