dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
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It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
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Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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