i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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