I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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