He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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