Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize