Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
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