I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Randomize