it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize