i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize