Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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