Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize