Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize