i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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