We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
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well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
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I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
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