I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
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Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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