You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize