just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
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I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
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He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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